Clingons. Scum of the Earth.  Bain of the human existence.  You’ve seen them before, often brown in color.  Sure, some can be friendly – but most of them just want to embarrass you and stain your underwear.  No…not Klingons (although, the Clingons I’m talking about here can be just as sinister).

I think urbandictionary.com defines it most eloquently:

“fecal particles which cling to bottox hair after excretion”

Yup.  And they’re often accompanied by their bad news pals – bits of toilet paper.  Like a jealous ex-boyfriend, Clingons insist on showing up at the worst times, often crashing parties and interrupting hot dates.  Definitely not the kind of crowd you want to be associating with.

But, what can we do? It’s not like we can blast them into space with phase cannons from the Starship Enterprise.

Clingons

Enter, theUSPA 6800.  This bad boy electronic bidet seat hates Clingons.  It takes pleasure in vaporizing those little turds into oblivion with its aerated water stream and IIP (Intensive Impulse Pulsation) system.  Never get mixed up with the wrong crowds again.  Get a USPA bidet and keep your rear free of Clingons forever.